so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
