go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
