susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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