Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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