Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
