I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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