Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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