just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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