Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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