found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
