I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
