Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
