so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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