he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
