Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My feet surprised me
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