Sponge bath it is.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
