Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
