Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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