also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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