We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
