No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
