rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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