she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
