Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
