She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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