Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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