i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
