i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
