i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
