problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
