You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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