we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
