I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
