I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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