so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
