No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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