Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
