Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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