I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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