I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
