did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
