I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Life is so much better after having sex.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
