I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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