if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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