the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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