I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
