meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
