I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
