Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
