Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
