At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
