Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
