Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
