Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
