I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
