It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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