Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
