I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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