I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
