Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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