This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
