She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
