I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
