I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I didn't shave. On purpose
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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