We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
