I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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