I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
