I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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