she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
