We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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