Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize