how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
