I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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